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I want to cry;┬ánot because I’m sad
because I’ve failed

and it’s likely that I wont be able to achieve any better
these repeat attempts of failure dampen the soul.

it’s like I carry a light musk of odorous failure around,
everywhere I go…

and I don’t know where to go from here,
do I stay or do I go?

I ask myself everyday,
6 ft deep or to the skies?

To be wrapped around diamonds and gold,
or to be dressed nicely, one last time.

Ascend, descend.
Is there much of a difference?

I see my life’s split in two tones,
both with the same evocations

Black forever, a life long sleep.
No troubles, no people, no feelings too deep.

Whitened, enlightened from dusk till dawn.
Troubled forever, alone, no soul.

The next time you see me may be the last,
I’ve lived life so dearly but now’s times depart.

times depart for a new start.

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You don’t choose it!
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